Blog of the Year (so far): "Loving a bipolar person..."

Loving a bipolar person...

from Things I Know About

Now and then - not often enough - I come across something about bipolar disorder that actually says something. It's always by someone with bipolar disorder. This post nails an elusive subject, and does it with generosity, insight, compassion and, miracle of miracles, no crap whatsoever. Here goes:

Bipolar... A disorder that is caused by an imbalance in the brain. I guess I could go deeper into it but the definition in full is here for you to have a look at if you like. But in truth, this weekend I was approached by a friend with a question. A question concerning a young lady he was falling in love with. So what is the problem with that? They get along well, she is beautiful, he is a nice looking young man and they are both doing well. Sounded perfect to me. I asked him what I was missing.

She, the love of his life is, well to say the least, VERY bipolar. "And?" I said. Then he began to explain things to me. She is sometimes so far away in her thoughts that he can not reach her. She wanders off aimlessly, not having a clue as to what she wants nor what she is looking for. In restaurants, she sits sometimes, seemingly for a lifetime, staring at the menu. Now and then she glances over the top and with a red face, smiles at him. She cuddles next to him on the couch as they watch a movie. She plays a bit with him and laughs. He of course follows her lead and the next thing you know, they have forgotten the movie is even on. {Nothing wrong with that of course.} Suddenly, as if by some unseen force, she pushes him away and begins to watch the movie again. {{So, she changed her mind... that happens to us all.} She then gets up from the couch and goes out to the kitchen. He waits for her to return but after a few minutes, he wonders what is keeping her. He finds her in the kitchen, staring out the window. When she turns to look at him, tears are in her eyes and he knows, the night has just begun for them.

I listened to him and felt every word he said to me. He spoke of his fears and wondered if a person really can or even should start up a serious relationship with someone that is Bipolar. I had to really take a moment to think my answer through. His pain was obvious and he simply stood there shaking his head. There were other things he spoke of like her suddenly becoming angry and yelling about truly, nothing. He loved her so much but sometimes wondered if he was taking on more than he could handle.

I asked him,"Do you love her with all of your heart?" Of course he does but sometimes, she is almost emotionless and other times, she can not seem to get enough of him or of their love-making. How was he to deal with it all? My answer was simple to that question. LOVE HER... love her with tenderness and compassion and spirit. Love her in her bad times and good times. Try and understand that she can do little to change the way she is. If she could, perhaps she would. I told him that if she found a "safe place" with him, she would love him for the rest of their lives. I also told him that yes, she would be High Maintenance. She would require space and time and that to try and deny her such things, she might simply leave. I explained a little more about her being bipolar and told him a few things he might do to help her when her "moods" swept through.

Let her know you are always there for her but do not smother her. Walk with her slowly when she needs to walk slow and run like it is his last day on earth when she wants to run. Nothing he told me of her was anything that I do not deal with every minute of my life. Living with a loved one that is Bipolar is no doubt a challenge at times. There will be times when you wonder if they even care you exist. Days that they will want to be alone or will cry for no apparent reason and to touch her/him might be something that he/she will not allow. Encourage her and show her that the way she is doesn't change the way he feels. When she is in a Low, let her try and settle it in her own mind. When she cries, let her cry. It doesn't mean he did anything wrong and chances are, she couldn't give him a reason why she was crying if he asked her. When she can not seem to make a choice from a menu, talk to her and remind of of things she orders a lot. She will then feel at ease and choose something.

Above all else, never let her feel like an oddity or as if she were too much. She will find that "safety" in him and though neither may ever know why some things happen, to walk beside her through the highs and the lows is the greatest show of love he could give to her. Don't get angry with her when her moods swing fiercely from high to low and back to high again in just a few minutes. If she is with him, then she trusts him and loves him as much as her mind will allow her to. Living with someone that is Bipolar is not a walk in the park. But... life can be awesome and life can be beautiful for them both. Simply take it one moment at a time because that is how her life happens daily. The rewards can be great and the love, splendid. I think they will do fine...

Debilitating symptoms of Tourette Syndrome may also fuel creative energy

...crows Times Online. It be cool, but bemusing 'tis as time(s) marches (merches?) on there is less and less of the known world not colonised by mental illness. Dysfunction, disorder, whatever.

This really makes me laugh: "Recent speculation has focused on Mozart as a possible Tourette sufferer, based mainly on scatalogical references in letters and music. However, some experts suggest it may have been more the exuberance of youth than a clinical condition." Yeah, and the funny thing is(n't) that at the moment overly exuberant youth are often being diagnosed and medicated for being overly exuberant.

Bipolar Expeditions: "Bipolarity is the universal natural definition, dominating all the physical evolvements..."

North Pole, South Pole, Bi Pole.

...2 Bipolarity is the universal natural definition, dominating all the physical evolvements
Everything is bipolar, and owing to the interaction of the bipolarity contradiction, creates the life-likeness of existing and evolving motion.
From quantum wave-particle duality, quantum transition absorbed energy and delivered energy, particle and antiparticle, real particle and virtual particle, anion and cationic, matter and antimatter, matter and dark matter, positive energy and negative energy, action and reaction, attraction and repellence, accumulation and dissipation, division and synthesis, fission and fusion, chaos and harmony, order and disorder, dark and light, red shift and blue shift, expansion and collapse ,etc, and even female and male of living nature, chromosome X and Y, etc, which including the physical relationship of bipolarity existing and evolving motion, we should realize: no matter for microcosmic quantum field or macrocosmic large-scale structure, universe has defined the universal law and dialectical principle of physical existing and evolving motion bipolarity.
Finding out the sources, quark is the least unite declassified by humankind so far. Quark has six types, formed to three pairs mutually: the first pair is “up” quark and “down” quark (their lepton families corresponding objects are electron and neutrino), the second pair is strange quark and charm quark (their lepton families corresponding objects are µ meson and neutrino), and the heaviest pair is top quark and bottle quark (their lepton families corresponding objects are τ particle and neutrino). The quark and antiquark can be combined by pair to so-called meson format. The quark defines bipolarity corresponding.
Two elementary particle families composing the whole atom substance are quark and lepton, bipolarity corresponding combination of quark families and lepton families define elementary particle.
The least part of element, namely the unit taking part in chemical reaction－atom, is constituted by a tiny positive nuclear and a group of negative electrons surrounding. Positive electricity and negative electricity’s bipolarity define the atom.

Polar molecule and nonpolar molecule’s bipolarity constitute molecule’s electric structure.

The elementary particle deduces substance, energy and fundamental force of the universe with wave-particle duality bipolar attribute, living bipolarity dialectical motion of microcosmic quantum field and macrocosmic large-scale structure.
With the explorations of several generation physicists, many bipolar relationships of the elementary particle, substance, energy and force have been discovered and concluded. We can present the bipolar relationship figure as follows:



Bipolarity is the universal natural definition, dominating all the physical evolvement, the whole of universe is the construction of opposite and unity of elementary particle bipole. All the physical bipolar relationship can be summarized as positive pole and negative pole, all the evolvement motion have the “pole change” tendency and direct or inverse relationship, which may extend toward positive polar dimension or negative polar dimension; If the polar boundary (pole change key point) is exceeded during bipolarity approaching process (“approaching process”—developing along the direction of one dimension. Positive pole approaching process is developing along the positive pole dimension; negative pole approaching process is developing along the negative pole dimension), the poles changing to each other will occur, the positive pole changing to negative pole or negative pole changing to positive pole (Positive poles are such as: positive, Yang, advance, rising, light, solid, combining, etc; negative poles are such as: negative/minus, Yin, back, falling, dark, void, separating, etc.). All the existing and evolvement motion keep to the universal law and dialectical principle of direct or inverse development of the unity of opposites of contradiction.

On Being a "Survivor"

While I was swimming this morning - exercise=recovery yada yada - I reflected upon the term "survivor". Before its current vogue in a different context I associated this word, as a child of post-Holocaust Jews - with hobbling out of Dachau alive, or being rescued from some Japanese POW camp with bamboo still growing under my fingernails or, say, beating cancer.

Now, of course, there are new kinds of survivors. You can be a survivor of almost anything. For example, I am a survivor of 25 years of Eastenders ;) The word does have new meanings and associations and they're not all devalued. What caught my handsome reflection, though? I thought: Many survive many things that cause, induce or increase their mental illness. But as far as I know all I have survived is myself. I am at the centre of my psychodrama. Nobody, as far as I know - and Woody Allenesque upbringing notwithstanding - has done much of importance to me...except me.

Kerry is bipolar. She believed she was an alien. Kerry, dear, if you are bipolar then you are an alien! Do you have any idea how many people that are "mentally ill" believe at some point that they are aliens? Think about it. Who wants to come from this planet anyways???

Kerry Katona's alien belief
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Kerry Katona revealed she once believed she was an alien during her battle with mental illness.
The reality TV star spoke frankly about her bipolar disorder and struggle with fame as she addressed the Oxford Union yesterday (28.04.09).
Britain's The Sun newspaper reports she said: "I sat on the bed and said, 'Mark, I'm an alien' - and I really thought I was an alien.
"I didn't brush my teeth for a week. It's part of my personality."
Former Atomic Kitten star Kerry was a guest speaker at the debating society of the prestigious Oxford University. She spoke with students in a question and answer format for an hour and said there were no topics which were off limit.
Kerry was accompanied by her husband, Mark Croft, at the event - which was filmed by MTV for a forthcoming reality TV series.
Student Anshul Bakhda, 19, told Sky news afterward: "I thought she was really good. She was very frank and open.
"It was a really refreshing question and answer session. She talked about her history with mental illness, her mum, and the impact of the media on her family."

"I Yam Whad I Yam": Pop-I

Not so long ago someone was saying something to me that involved sources in living for regret-shame-deceit and all that bundle of scum. I snapped, "You have to live!" Look, I've done my share of things I'm not proud of but I'm not 'shamed of them. What might have hurt my kids I care about, and as for the rest it's like combat, we're all on the field, there will be casualties, no free lunches abound.

Recovery, to some extent - and maybe a great extent - is about acceptance and self-acceptance. But I say, it's about defiance, too. In order to have meaning recovery has to include a degree of "I-don't-give-a-****(of yer choice)". It's gotta have guts. Apologies are nice, you should say your sorries and then move on. My attitude is that you have zero obligation to spend your recovery feeling sorry for the people you hurt. They'll take every opportunity, given a chance, to remind you of what a monster you were (and still are, if they can fit that in). Don't spend the life you have saved killing it with undue kindness. Recover, but for life, not some lukewarming of the hearts of the hard-done-by.

This is the kind of blog post I appreciate. No b.s., no angles, just, uh, sane advice and methodology, practical and simple, on how to get back to the front.

The Natural Cure For Bipolar Disorder

You Can Cure Bipolar Disorder And Reclaim Your Life.

Contrary to what the medical authorities have told us, it is possible to treat and even cure bipolar disorder. Here are three fundamental techniques to help eliminate the symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Technique #1: Learn To Control Your Thinking

Although you might be taking medication to deal with your bipolar disorder right now, I promise you that 'bipolar self-help' is absolutely essential if you want to achieve freedom from your illness. Antidepressants and psychiatric care or therapy have their place, but currently there is not nearly enough emphasis being placed on the power of practicing self-help for those who want to overcome bipolar.

The most essential element of exercising self help and eventually being able to cure bipolar disorder is becoming acutely conscious of your thinking. The worst episodes always begin with small, seemingly harmless thoughts. Small thoughts in turn grow into something increasingly irrational, and soon another explosive episode is born.

Learning to control and master your thinking is an intensive process that requires tremendous self discipline and deep awareness of your personal tendencies. If you want to take the first step towards finally having the power to tame your own mind I suggest you seek the help of an alternative approach. Many people have been able to cure bipolar disorder, but it has not happened using conventional medicine. Achieving freedom from bipolar disorder is possible once you find the key for making these fundamental changes in your mood patterns and thinking.

Technique #2: Commit To Beneficial Outcomes

Perhaps the biggest tragedy of being afflicted by bipolar disorder is the frequent inability to create healthy situations and prevent destructive ones. On the contrary, when in the midst of struggling against their disease, those afflicted often bring about horrific pain, tumult, and heartache. In essence, technique #2 is simply an extension of the first technique; if you are able to exert control over the small thoughts that initially lead to irrational and poisonous emotions, you will be in a better position to commit to beneficial, healthy outcomes. Therefore it is necessary to master the thoughts that precede this eventual commitment if you are endeavoring to cure bipolar disorder. When struggling to maintain a healthy mood and rational thinking, you can simply declare within that you have firmly committed to not letting an episode flare up. In fact, you must then become unambiguously dedicated to a beneficial, non-explosive, neutral or even positive outcome.

The underlying thinking here is that you are converting what potentially began as something destructive and toxic, into what has the possibility of being a normal, safe, and advantageous result. When you are able to do this it will act as a powerful affirmation that you are much more than the chemical components of your brain - you are in control of your thinking, your moods, and your life. Believing you have control over yourself is absolutely imperative to positively affecting your reality and effectively thwarting potential episodes.

Technique #3: Use The Perspective Test

When feeling the onset of mania, the opportunity for performing a highly effective self-help test becomes crucially important. The Perspective Test consists of taking a step back from where you currently are emotionally and psychologically and evaluating the antithesis of your feelings. Therefore if you feel angry that your husband didn't clean the kitchen, imagine what it would be like to feel happy that your husband cleaned the kitchen. Although obviously not the case, and while you may indeed have valid reasons to be angry, the point with this exercise is to create massive contrast - the antithesis or opposite of what you are presently experiencing. For those who are capable of doing this, a fresh understanding of your own perspective is obtainable. It then becomes easier to resist letting the situation control you, and enables you to control your moods and thoughts irrespective of any current external factors. The main point here is that it doesn't matter if you are vindicated in feeling angry at the messy kitchen (or any other similar situation), you are choosing consciously to refuse to allow external circumstances to dictate the your inner dispositions.

Those who have a spouse or significant other who is ill with bipolar often struggle with their partner's intense rage, paranoia, jealously and other irrational and exaggerated emotions and thinking. Unfortunately the established medical community has not done enough to help the spouses and family members of those who suffer from bipolar disorder. However, there is alternative information that provides workable solutions and powerful advice for people is such situations.

Conclusion: Help Is Out There

In order to make real progress in your fight to reclaim your life and finally end the suffering of bipolar disorder it is necessary to break away from the established medical community. Although certain medications have been scientifically proven to help with anxiety, there is nothing that a medical doctor can offer you to cure your bipolar disorder. That must come from within, and it is only achievable with focussed and determined self help.
With effort and persistence, you can overcome bipolar. There is most certainly hope for living a normal life free of this illness. However this will not happen until you abandon the false belief that doctors will heal you - for clearly they can not. Sadly, doctors prognosticate a very bleak picture for bipolar patients. According to them, there is no known cure. Yet there are many people who have successfully treated bipolar by developing themselves and this has, in effect, led to being permanent cured.

In your fight to cure bipolar disorder it is imperative that you never lose hope, never give up, and actively seek out the information that provides lasting answers in order to develop a mastery of the self.

Johnathan Sterling reviews important products for people from all walks of life. By undertaking a serious, honest, and comprehensive investigation into important issues and the available products that can help them, Johnathan continues to be a valuable voice of expertise in the online wilderness.

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